. 黎明与日落的交界 .

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Friday, January 16, 2009; 12:10 AM

Lately, I realized that my heart will pump hard when I see you. Duno why?!Cannot be explained.
When I see u together with them, I have no choice of talking to you. And I'm not in ur clique also...So tt's a bit of problem there. U say that it's difficult to find someone by ur side. But i feel that ur expectation is not high...Though I feel that u're a bit pampered, but I think you will still be there for me when i really need you....

I've asked someone that : " If one day ur bf is sad/ have a lot of unhappy things tt need someone to be at his side, but may not talk to u for 30 mins or even hours. u will be accompanying him at the beach, looking at the sea, will you be able to do it..."

Most of my friends reply was: " Beach arh...$%%^&( not very good one )....But she actually said: " I DON MIND CAUSE I'LL DEFINITELY BE WITH HIM! " This is the answer that I longed for, uptill now, I finally found someone with this answer to my question.

I know that even if we didnt become couple, we will be best friends, and u will be listening to all my things. I am really happy that I've found some1. But I duno i sld say anything. I'm afriad that I might get hurt again. Since her case, I become more introverted, I look extroverted, But I am not! I wont really be in good form if I knew that I need to act sad. So usually i will wear a smily face to school, no matter how hard life was!

I just want to find someone who is able to share my happiness and anxieties with me when I need her. And I think she appears b4 me.So what should I do now? CONFUSED!

Reminising past her:
I know that I need to give up on her, so that she'll be able to find her new life again.I dont dare to dream of any fantasy again, neither will I hang on to her,like a leech! What is urs will never be taken away, whta not urs will eventually be taken away from u!! I have a friend who also like her since sec 3! But it still end up like that, she's not his till now...I have tried my best to keep u in my heart forever, which means that u will only be hidden in the deepest of my heart, and that will be only for you. Never gonna say to you again. And we will be best friends. I sincerely wish that u will find other better guys! Though I wait for you since sec 2 till 2008.. I think that it's worth it la...I can only say we don't have the affinity to be together,as long as u're living happily, then it sld be fine le :D:D

Then now I'm very confused whether I should confess or not?Once bitten, twice shy!! I am still thinking..But her friend suggests that I should mak clear my feelings to her. I duno lo.Though she didnt say she dislike me, neither did she say she lik me too!! That is what i guessed. She didnt tell me at all lor.So the problem now is:

-Should I ask the question?
-What if she reject, then we might not even be friends.(we're like seeing each other very often)!
-If she accepted, how should I maintain our relationship to make it lasting?
-SO many ifs,whys....I REALLY DON'T KNOW lo!

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